I’ve recently turned a big corner in my life, and now find myself in some rough, unfamiliar, and somewhat dangerous territory.
I have followed a sensible, responsible, and fairly predictable life so far. I went to school and studied subjects that would lead to a stable job instead of pursuing my dreams and passions. I married a loving, safe, reliable spouse, started my career, had a child, and worked hard to be successful.
I landed my dream job in a beautiful corner of the world with enough money to live without worries. It was peaceful, safe, friendly, ideal in almost every respect.
And then the dream began to crumble.
I was gaining a stronger sense of self. I learned more about my strengths and weaknesses, about who I admired and who I despised. I was finally formulating opinions and arguments to support them. I became more confident in my abilities and less fearful to question authority. I became determined to live by my values and not back down.
Well, that type of person doesn’t last long in any kind of hierarchical system.
I was told to toe the line, to shut up, to back down. My expertise and opinions weren’t valued. I was replaceable.
So I quit my job, and in doing so, axed my chances of finding any tolerable work in my field.
I feel I have no other recourse but to move to a new field. I’m doing a lot of soul searching. I’m dusting off those old passions of mine, that have been all but forgotten, to see if they could serve me at all in earning a living of some sort.
Yes, it’s exciting, but even more daunting. As much as I’d like, I cannot turn back the Wheel of Time to return to that moment when all was well and worry-free. I have to move forward and go in a direction I never considered wise or even possible. And I struggle to keep the demons in my head from holding me back.
I’m not alone, however. There are thousands of others changing their careers, remaking their lives, and going back to the drawing board. If you are one of them, welcome. As I go through this transformation, I hope you find this record of my thoughts and experiences helpful, reassuring, and maybe on a good day, even inspiring.